I go all GUI when I think of you...

My biggest fear when "punting" was being discovered. Now, I knew that was unlikely to happen in terms of my wife walking in on me in flagrante delicto, or by us bumping into one of my paramours whilst out shopping/clubbing/dining (London is too big for that...). Nor was I worried that she'd find other signs - discarded underwear, lipstick on my collar - I was much too careful.

No, the real terror was an embarrassing infection...

So, I was a bit worried recently when I started to have an itchy dick... A quick trip to the clinic ensued and after some very uncomfotable procedures, I was told I was fine, just a bit of thrush. No other symptoms so I went on my way. But then I made the the call to check on the other tests. Gulp. NSU.

A difficult conversation with the wife has followed. She seems pretty cool at the moment (NSU can have hung around for years being assymptomatic in both of us - and I was a bit of a lad before we met).

As an aside, why do they keep changing the term?... When I was a lad, one talked of VD (venereal disease). When I was older it was STDs (sexually transmitted disease). Now, apparently one says GUI (genito-urinary infection). I guess the professionals have to change the euphemism every few years to stay ahead of the stigma...

Well that's irony for you - I start to be faithful, I get thrush from my wife and have to admit I caught a social disease in the process.

So, wish me luck. Perhaps divorce beckons...

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams