Food for thought...
I have been having an interesting exchange with the Odd Wife. Her pain brought a real lump to my throat. I have decided that whenever I am tempted to stray, I will read these posts (Doubts & Focus) again to remind myself what my selfishness could do to my wife. She challenges all those who write about their indiscretions to compose an open letter outlining what they would say to their wives, if caught.
I have often thought that my wife suspected that I've been unfaithful - she's never challenged me but, even through my thick male skin, I noticed the gentle allusions.
So is she going through the same turmoil? I hope not.
I have often thought that my wife suspected that I've been unfaithful - she's never challenged me but, even through my thick male skin, I noticed the gentle allusions.
So is she going through the same turmoil? I hope not.
posted by Salvatori at 9:48 am
4 Comments:
Salvatori,
I've left the "challenge" post up, but I've been rethinking it and it doesn't much matter anymore. I guess I kept hoping that if I could truly understand the dynamics of infidelity, I would be able to better deal with it as it applies to my life.
But now I think that perhaps we're not meant to understand it at all.
As little girls, we grow up reading stories of princesses who fall in love with princes who rescue them from dragons and live happily ever after. As young women we watch movies of women living life on the streets and being swept away by millionaires who see the true beauty inside of them.
But as women, we find that it just doesn't exist. No one is out there trying to see into your soul. Maybe it's all just a form of brainwashing?
Either way...maybe you had it right all along. Perhaps every man for him/herself is the only real way to evolve.
Love to you Salvatori,
Odd
I read her post as well and I thought it was interesting..so I gave it a shot and wrote my letter. Actually it was kind of nice for me to write it..but that is probably because I am not married to him anymore. Regardless it is a very interesting subject and had my wheels turning.
I thought it was an interesting post, but like you, some of my blog has already addressed my regrets about my infidelity (to someone I love, although I'm not married to him) and trying to figure out why I do it. Yet, at the same time, I continue to do it. I'm not ready to write a letter like that, even a pretend letter.
I think that infidelity can be understood. It's the emotional part of it that is the most difficult to reconcile and maybe that part of it is too individual to understand on a bigger scale.
I agree that as women, we are taught to believe the fairy tale. It was when I truly stopped believing in it that I became a cheater. I've had to struggle with remaking myself, and I think I fell off of my high horse. Maybe it's just for a little while. I think my biggest downfall is that I found someone I loved before I got a chance to roll myself in this sin and get over it. Have I doomed us both?
-Christine, www.kntconfessions.blog-city.com
Salvatori, where have you gone?
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