It's in the genes II...

The callous view of my son got me thinking. I read a couple of articles and settled on a book "Evolutionary Psychology - A Critical Introduction" by the wonderfully appropriately named Chris Badcock. The gist of this is that male infidelity is a case of pure genetics. We can try to be simperingly New Man. We can attempt smug Metrosexuality. We can claim to be in touch with our feminine side. But our genes rebel - we just can't help it. A pig is a pig forever, no matter how much he claims to have an interest in silk purses.

Now, it is obvious that there are some inherent reasons for promiscuity - a man could father 365 children in a year (theoretically 730, if his little black book was sufficiently well stocked and his bank balance allowed for the inevitable flowers and requisite meals at the Ivy...). One suspects that the Child Support Agency would probably get on your back pretty sharpish (or maybe not...) but that is mainly one of society's means of mitigating our disgusting behaviour.

Meanwhile, a woman, no matter how many sexual partners she has, can only sprog once in a year.

Clearly, it is in the woman's interest to have a partner to help bring up this mewling child. That is why women are similarly hard-wired to feel betrayal when their partner strays.

So far, so conventional.

Additionally, we know that children in stable family units are more likely to grow up to be well balanced individuals, so there is some self-interest for the man to stick around to make sure his offspring are protected (though sowing wild oats as he stays...).

Well, no big surprise there...

But the strange thing is that our bodies like it when we are unfaithful - suggesting that both men and women are biologically encouraged to infidelity. We know this from various - and I presume perfectly horrible - studies into sperm competition.

"The number of sperm ejaculated is proportional to the risk of the female haviing been inseminated by another male, as measured by the amount of time the couple have been apart."

In other words, your minxy cheating partner gets more of your sperm, if she's been playing away.

And here's another one:

"sperm retention is higher in extra-pair copulations than in pair."

To put it simply, you stand a greater chance of concieving if you slip a length to the little hottie you've just picked up in a bar than you do with your partner (take note, Boris Becker - whoops, too late). So watch out.

And one more thing. If you have a high sperm count, you will be more disposed to shagging around than males who have a low count.

Now clearly this cuts no ice with your nearest and dearest. Medical science won't save you from the wrath of the wife and her ravenous pack of divorce lawyers. Indeed studies have shown that it is not love and commitment that keeps men on the straight and narrow but rather the courts.

In a final bitter-sweet irony, if you do separate, are ripped to shreds by her lawyer and then return for one last bout of nostalgic (and probably regretful) sexual intercourse, your chances of conceiving are exponentially higher than when you are in a monogamous relationship.

So, male behaviour is determined by an inate desire to reproduce with fecundity and diversity but female physiology encourages cheating too (at least up to the point that they get pregnant).

It is interesting that women can seemingly control this inbuilt desire pretty well but men can't (see also the comments on the previous post). I guess it's down to the old Robin Williams quote:

"God gave us men a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time."

Enjoy...