Don't come near me with that thing...
I was struck by Virgin Slut's recent musings on anal sex.
The first thought that crossed my mind was that (he says, pulling on his cardigan and slippers) in my day, a virgin was someone who wouldn't let you get past "first base". Today that seems to include girls who let you plow the "Hersey Highway" whilst they engage in a spot of frigging... Mmm, nice... You go, girl...
Now, I'm not being judgemental here - VS is still a virgin and it would appear both she and her partners are having fun (and I'm all for that...). I think it's a great development. I genuinely hope every girl follows suit. Its just as Cicero might have said (but without his condemnation):
Everybody is at it. And enjoying it. It seems that what was once the preserve of a few pornographers in under-the-counter publications is now mainstream. It even makes it into a blockbuster movie, with Bridget Jones not only taking it up the "Gary" (Gary Glitter = shi... well, you get the picture) from Hugh Grant but also liking it enough to go back and do it again... Right there in your living room... With your parents watching...
Indeed, there are some signs that the status of anal sex as any kind of taboo is under attack. Even in the US (home of the most ridiculous attempts to legislate against what consenting adult choose to do behind closed doors), State laws against sodomy were struck down by the Supreme Court in 2003. Hooray for that.
Finally, I was worried by "Two Way Street..." in that she insisted on reciprocal anal play with her partner: "...any guy who is not willing to have his own arse violated is certainly not going to violate mine". Gulp...
My first experiences with anal sex were with escorts who (other than a spot of rather pleasant rimming), are happy to leave my chocolate starfish well alone, thank you. However, what to do if my wife one day pulls out a 10" strap-on and asks me to bend over? I am totally "banged to rights" - I do it to her, (well, sadly not with 10" in my case), so by any notion of human justice, she can do it to me.
Or not.
Sorry, but I'm not going there...
Ever...
It's not natural... ;-)
The first thought that crossed my mind was that (he says, pulling on his cardigan and slippers) in my day, a virgin was someone who wouldn't let you get past "first base". Today that seems to include girls who let you plow the "Hersey Highway" whilst they engage in a spot of frigging... Mmm, nice... You go, girl...
Now, I'm not being judgemental here - VS is still a virgin and it would appear both she and her partners are having fun (and I'm all for that...). I think it's a great development. I genuinely hope every girl follows suit. Its just as Cicero might have said (but without his condemnation):
"O tempora! O mores!"Secondly, it is striking how anal sex, as Belle de Jour put it, has become the new oral sex. Anal sex has for some time been very far from being the last remaining taboo, of course (the last time I checked, cannibalism and necrophilia were still struggling for acceptance...).
Everybody is at it. And enjoying it. It seems that what was once the preserve of a few pornographers in under-the-counter publications is now mainstream. It even makes it into a blockbuster movie, with Bridget Jones not only taking it up the "Gary" (Gary Glitter = shi... well, you get the picture) from Hugh Grant but also liking it enough to go back and do it again... Right there in your living room... With your parents watching...
Indeed, there are some signs that the status of anal sex as any kind of taboo is under attack. Even in the US (home of the most ridiculous attempts to legislate against what consenting adult choose to do behind closed doors), State laws against sodomy were struck down by the Supreme Court in 2003. Hooray for that.
Finally, I was worried by "Two Way Street..." in that she insisted on reciprocal anal play with her partner: "...any guy who is not willing to have his own arse violated is certainly not going to violate mine". Gulp...
My first experiences with anal sex were with escorts who (other than a spot of rather pleasant rimming), are happy to leave my chocolate starfish well alone, thank you. However, what to do if my wife one day pulls out a 10" strap-on and asks me to bend over? I am totally "banged to rights" - I do it to her, (well, sadly not with 10" in my case), so by any notion of human justice, she can do it to me.
Or not.
Sorry, but I'm not going there...
Ever...
It's not natural... ;-)
posted by Salvatori at 7:41 am
13 Comments:
fish...
Why is it that fingers are different if you think that any kind of penetration would "de-virginize"? So according to you, size is what matters in penetration? What if a guy had a finger-sized penis?
Sorry Salvatrori, I came to comment on YOU, but I read the last comment and I had to answer.
My question to you is:
Why not? From what I have heard, anal sex is more enjoyable for men because you have a prostate (the male g-spot) blah, blah ....
You say "it's not natural". Well it's not natural for women to be penetrated anally either.
As for anal sex and virginity ... I wrote about it on my blog ... when I was growing up, virgins would have anal sex in order to remain virgins. I don't know what base anal sex would be, certainly not the first, maybe -1.
Btw, I don't like the rabbit.
And can I have your address? I want to send your wife a strap-on ;)
Ok, I don't know which version of your post I read, but I didn't see any cause for you to apologise.
I like men with opinions.
VS, I hope we're not posting at cross purposes again here...
Right, my "it's not natural" comment was a joke (it's what all those stuck-up fuckwits say when they try to outlaw sexual acts). Perhaps it wasn't a funny joke...
Actually, the whole final section was meant as a bit of a joke, though with a serious undertone. I understand that anal penetration of a male stimulates the prostate and that can lead to orgasm, whereas there is no obvious analagous stimulation in the female. The logical conclusion to that is that firstly men, including me, should go looking for anal play (but most don't) and secondly women shouldn't enjoy anal sex (but some clearly do).
Reasons that more men don't go looking? Hang-ups are a big part but, speaking for myself, it just doesn't form any part of any sexual fantasy I've ever had. So, if my wife actually did approach me with a strap on and told me it was a huge fantasy she'd had, I'd probably comply (yes, depite what I've written). But I doubt I'd find it very stimulating for my "mind clit".
S
Allo,
Interesting, because my friends don't see anal as an option unless they are with a guy for a long time. Myself included, I have had guys ask me and I have declined.
Every guy I have talked to on the issue said that they would lose respect for a girl if she offered to allow anal after the first date, or even on it, without having some sort of serious background in the relationship first.
To each their own, I suppose.
I just know that I have only allowed one man to have anal with me and with him it was enjoyable as he was someone I cared for very much.
I also don't think that virgins can call themselves virgins after having anal, as it is penetration.
Just my opinion.
K
As a big a-sex afficionado, I would love to think that anal is no longer a big taboo. My (unfortunately) limited experience suggests that it is not a regular part of most heterosexual couples' lovemaking. I think that a singificant percentage of women try it once or twice under duress, but that very few women enjoy it as a frequent practice.
If anything, porn (and Howard Stern) has reduced the taboo regarding talking about assplay, but I believe that there is a big gap between talk and regular practice in this realm.
K,
Doing what you're comfortable with is the right thing. I definitely wouldn't recommend a woman to indulge in anal sex in anything other than a longer term relationship.
I guess on the "virgin" tag, penis/vagina penetration definitely counts you out. Beyond that, I guess it's the definition of the lady herself that matters.
O,
It's not a universal practice but it has become more accepted and common.
Yeah, but say (for example) if 3% of heterosexual women were doing it regularly and it has gone up to 6%, that is a dramatic increase, but it still means that 94% do not do it regularly.
You know, anal sex has a very bad reputation, it seems. It's been around and done forever. I believe it's in the bible - the first form of birth control. And I've read it's the hole used by lovers, the vagina being reserved for the husband.
And I also think people are way too hung up on the 'is it right or wrong or gross or fun' questions - just do it. Or don't. It's not that big of a deal.
It's just another hole - male or female.
Salvatori, I think you'd love it, if done properly.:-)
Lilli-G: Do you do it regularly?
Money - all I can say is you're a lucky man. My wife no longer agrees to the a-levels (love those Brit terms)...
Alexa - glad you're still around, what's with the dormant blog?
VS - you will make some man very happy some day (every day:^))
I think it's pretty clear that when a man uses the service entrance with a woman their male/female roles are not in question at all. Even with a woman doing another with a strap-on the one getting is clearly the submissive, feminine role.
When a guy gets a bit of finger or even toy action during oral he hasn't crossed any line either. But when he's down on the knees and she's back there with a harness and strap-on it must appear to both parties that the roles have switched.
Not that I don't like the idea.
___________________
Regarding virginity-
Whatever it takes to maintain your values while having a bit of fun. One could argue that as long as a dick never touches the inside of the vagina then she's a virgin. Even if there was just a thin layer of latex betwixt the two.
Isn't the whole intent of the preoccupation with virginity to prevent pregnancy and STD's?
Jay
Just a comment being a wife and hubby and I being in a bit of a slump. We have done it ... infact we have done it and i have really enjoyed it once or twice. The thing is i have to be well drunk and terribly horney before i can manage it. I am also pretty tiny, even my pussy is really small. Hubby also is more interested in his own satisfaction than mine and mostly doesnt bother with me but still expects Anal. Sorry no can do if you cant take the effort to stimulate me dont even think you can make me shit sideways for a week to fulfill your fetish.
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