Early days I...
My first sexual experiences were nothing to write home about (So why the fuck are you writing about them? Ed). I'm sure that a lot of young people struggle to find their feet, sexually (Well, there's your problem - feet don't really come into sex (except at the advanced levels). You need to aim a little higher. Ed).
My very early encounters with the opposite sex were disasters. I was too nervous to touch them.
I went out with a girl for a month when I was aged 13 or 14 and didn't even touch her breasts (they were the largest of any of the girls that I knew). I didn't want to be presumptuous (Presumptuous? This kid is so stupid he couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel. Ed). The irony was she chucked me because I wasn't interested in her - what I hadn't realised (and wouldn't understand for many years afterwards) was that she was as sexually curious as I was (See? What did I tell you? An intellect rivalled only by garden tools. Ed). Worse than that, she told everyone that I hadn't grabbed a handfull of her cleavage, which ensured that I appeared naïve, stupid or gay (admittedly, I was guilty of the first two) - none of which served to make me immediately attractive to the other females in the group.
I decided to withdraw hurt from the dating scene and regroup on the sidelines. Well, truth be told, that was the only option I was given. I resolved therefore to masturbate like a rabid monkey. On the one hand this seemed a reasonable decision at the time, on the other hand, well, my palm was getting hairy.
My virginity hung over me like a cloud - my desperation was so palpable you could smell it on me a mile off. I couldn't have got laid if I was the only man at a nymphomanics' convention.
To be continued...
My very early encounters with the opposite sex were disasters. I was too nervous to touch them.
I went out with a girl for a month when I was aged 13 or 14 and didn't even touch her breasts (they were the largest of any of the girls that I knew). I didn't want to be presumptuous (Presumptuous? This kid is so stupid he couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel. Ed). The irony was she chucked me because I wasn't interested in her - what I hadn't realised (and wouldn't understand for many years afterwards) was that she was as sexually curious as I was (See? What did I tell you? An intellect rivalled only by garden tools. Ed). Worse than that, she told everyone that I hadn't grabbed a handfull of her cleavage, which ensured that I appeared naïve, stupid or gay (admittedly, I was guilty of the first two) - none of which served to make me immediately attractive to the other females in the group.
I decided to withdraw hurt from the dating scene and regroup on the sidelines. Well, truth be told, that was the only option I was given. I resolved therefore to masturbate like a rabid monkey. On the one hand this seemed a reasonable decision at the time, on the other hand, well, my palm was getting hairy.
My virginity hung over me like a cloud - my desperation was so palpable you could smell it on me a mile off. I couldn't have got laid if I was the only man at a nymphomanics' convention.
To be continued...
posted by Salvatori at 9:32 am
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home