Working my arse off - hopefully...

I'm trying to get back in shape having gained about a stone over the last 5 years. Fuck me, it's boring. No food and either sweating my arse off in the gym or pounding the streets in my running shoes - where's the fun in that? Now, I might have once been a tuned athlete but that was in a team sport - I always had someone else there to motivate me.

What I need is this:

WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM FOR MEN
A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs.
As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do that, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM.
"Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself.
But desperate, he called them up and subscribed to the 3-day / 10 pound weight loss program.
The next day there was a knock on his door, and when he answered, there stood before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old young lady dressed in nothing but air and some Nike running shoes. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company, and shows him a sign around her neck.
The sign read, "If you can catch me, you can have me!"
Without a second thought he took off after her. A few miles later,huffing and puffing, he finally caught her and had his way with her.
After they were through and she left, he thought to himself, "I like the way this company does business!"
The same girl showed up for the next two days and the same thing happened. On the fourth day, he weighed himself and was delighted to find he had lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He called the company and ordered their 5-day / 20 pound program.
The next day there was a knock on the door andthere stood the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he had ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that read, "If you catch me, you can have me."
He was out the door after her like a shot. This girl was in excellent shape and it took him a while to catch her, but when he did, it was worth every cramp and wheeze.
For the next four days, the same routine happened. Much to his delight, on the fifth day, he weighed himself and found he had lost another 20 lbs, as promised. He decided to go for broke and called the company to order the 7-day/ 50 pound program.
"Are you sure?" asked the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," he replied, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there was a knock at the door and when he opened it he found a muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that read,"If I catch you, you're mine."

Now that would get me motivated...

Enjoy...