Yet more reasons...
More lazy blogging from me. I really ought to apologise but I can't be arsed - I'm that fucking indolent*.
In fact this isn't just lazy, it's plagarism. I saw this on Alex Asks and thought, "That's close enough - no one will notice". Alex Asks, by the way is a fine repository of stories and jokes that really shouldn't be allowed out in polite company. He is probably the UK equivalent of God hates kittens and his attitude is summed up by his profile: "I got a blowjob last nite. And not just any old blowjob, but a full on, swallowing every last drop, blowjob. Ah, I love my girlfriend’s mum." My only excuse for not linking to him earlier is that I am bone idle...
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm way smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave.
She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he consented to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
She asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your trousers that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
Ms. Brooks: "What starts with a 'C', ends with a 'T', is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong......"
Enjoy...
* Actually, I am rushed off my feet at work and blogging eats into valuable down time. Sadly, there is not much action at home - work, sickness, tiredness. Bah!
In fact this isn't just lazy, it's plagarism. I saw this on Alex Asks and thought, "That's close enough - no one will notice". Alex Asks, by the way is a fine repository of stories and jokes that really shouldn't be allowed out in polite company. He is probably the UK equivalent of God hates kittens and his attitude is summed up by his profile: "I got a blowjob last nite. And not just any old blowjob, but a full on, swallowing every last drop, blowjob. Ah, I love my girlfriend’s mum." My only excuse for not linking to him earlier is that I am bone idle...
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm way smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave.
She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he consented to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
She asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your trousers that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
Ms. Brooks: "What starts with a 'C', ends with a 'T', is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong......"
Enjoy...
* Actually, I am rushed off my feet at work and blogging eats into valuable down time. Sadly, there is not much action at home - work, sickness, tiredness. Bah!
posted by Salvatori at 8:51 am
2 Comments:
we'll forgive you, plagiarism and all, but only 'cos we do so enjoy you whilst you're here
xxxxxx
Nice one there.
Plagiarism? You might have plagiarised someone who had plagiarised someone else and who in turn had plagiarised someone else too and on and on....
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