Nailed...

I am as busy as a one-legged man in an arse kicking competition, so you'll have to settle for some regurgitated stuff.

Saw this on a private site to which I belong but I thought it was so funny that I'd repeat it here...

A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot.
"What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, and it’s an absolute steal at only £20."
"Why is it that cheap?" the woman asks.
"Well", replies the assistant, "it used to live in a brothel and as a result, its language is a touch fruity."
"Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up. "I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot". So saying, she buys the parrot and takes him home.
Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman, "F**k me, a new brothel and a new madam."
"I'm not a madam and this is not a brothel" scolds the woman trying not to laugh.
A little later, the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home.
"Un-f**king believable. A new brothel, a new madam, and now two new hookers," says the parrot when he sees the daughters.
"Mum! Tell your parrot to shut up: we're not prostitutes,"
complain the girls but nevertheless, they all see the funny side and have a
laugh at their new pet.
A short while later, the woman's husband Dave comes home.
"In-f**king-credible, a new brothel, a new madam, new hookers, but the same old punters. How ya doin', Dave?"

Enjoy...