Withering through lack of use...

I feel very lucky to have a wife I love, who I believe reciprocates my love. I am even luckier that I have a wife who is now eager- or, perhaps, just prepared to - explore her sexuality with me. But I feel that I am in, if not a tiny minority, then a lucky half of marriages.

When I speak to my married friends, the single biggest complaint is that their sex life has evaporated.

Now, I won't argue that this is one sided - I know men who no longer have any sexual attraction to their wives. Also, though there is a correlation to when their spouse has piled on the pounds, I know a few bankers married to models and one of those sleeps around with women way less attractive than his wife (fuckwit). Undeniably, a few of the blokes have let themselves go too, which would have an effect on the wife's libido.

However, the gist of my arguement is that the incidence of men going off sex in marriage seems to be far lower than the what happens to the female side.

I also realise that my mates do not constitute a statistically significant sample but you just need to look at the prevalence of jokes like the last one, the one at the end of this post or the old:

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called Wedding Cake.

The broad conclusion is that it is wives generally who start to retreat from sex in marriage.

Why is this? I know that I put up a few possible reasons but I'd love to have some feedback from others.

I really don't want it to happen again. Mrs S and I had a great sex life when we were first together. I am worried it could evaporate once more, leaving me isolated, out in the cold.

Also, we have the sexually voracious married female bloggers (Bliatz, Good Wife, Odd Wife, Wicked Wife to name but a few) but where are the ones denying their hubby his "conjugal rights" (to be clear, I find that term abhorrent)? Now, admittedly I haven't gone looking for them and they are scarcely likely to say "I told the filthy pervert to keep his hands to himself last night". Or perhaps they do (the wonders of the internet never cease).

Bliatz once said she had an interlude in her marriage in which her libido waned and others have hinted at it. Ladies, what started it and what stopped it?

A joke to get your creative juices flowing.

A woman arrives home after a shopping trip, walks into the bedroom and is horrified to find her husband going at it hammer and tongs with an attractive young female.

Just as she's set to storm out of the house, her husband leaps up. "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl, poor and tired, so I offerd a lift in my car. She was starving, so I brought her home and fed her some of the leftovers you'd forgotten about in the fridge. Her shoes were falling appart, so I gave her a pair of your shoes that were going to the charity shop. She was freezing, so I gave her that sweater I gave you for your birthday but you never wore because 'the colour didn't suit you'. Her trousers were threadbare, so I gave her a pair of yours that were 'no longer in style'.

Then, just as she was leaving, she paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore?' And so here we are..."

Enjoy...