Friday, December 23, 2005

Yule blog...



Merry Christmas to one and all (who want it*). I probably won't have time to post between now and the New Year, as I will be busy.

I personally will be spending much of my Christmas burning all those fricking "round robin" letters that people put into the Christmas cards they send. They go on and on (and on and on) about how perfect and talented their own kids are and how perfect and complete their lives are.

Wankers.

The little time I have left over - there are thousands of them - I will be spending either playing with my kids, fucking my wife, or sinking slowly into an alcoholic haze... Perfect.

Enjoy...

*Please accept with no obligation, either implied, or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday (summer solstice in the Southern Hemisphere), practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion, or the secular practices, of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of of others, or their choice not to practice religious, or secular, traditions at all.

I also wish you a financially successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures, whose contributions to society have made the United Kingdom great (not to imply that the United Kingdom is necessarily greater than another country), and without regard to race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preferences of the wishees, and those of whom this salutation is addressed.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
  • This greeting is subject to clarification, or withdrawal.
  • It is freely transferable to a third party, but without any alteration to the original greeting.
  • It implies no promise by the wishers to actually implement any of these wishes for her/himself, or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishers.
  • This wish is warranted as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one calendar year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday period greeting, whichever shall occur first, and warranty, either implicit or implied, is limited to replacement of this wish, or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishers.

2 Comments:

Blogger thegirl said...

Very funny!

Though I am slightly suspicious of your knowledge of legal terminology...

Happy 'few days off shagging, being drunk and getting quality time with your kids'

Girl x

7:00 pm  
Blogger k said...

that's just great!
Merry Ho Ho :)
Hope the holidays were good!
K

5:31 pm  

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