A plea...

Could the annual herd of fat divs with two week New Year resolutions who storm into the health club please remember the following?:

1. Bring a towel to wipe the sweat and gunk off the equipment after you use it;
2. Do not slam the weight machine when letting the weights down, as we will need to carry on using it when you re-establish your relationship with Pizza Hut next week;
3. Wear some pants under your shorts. The blob with a pair of ox-bull balls in full view on the leg curl machine nearly made me hurl over the treadmill in disgust;
4. Try and refrain from making those grunting and wheezing noises until my iPod gets fixed;
5. Understand you'll get much better weight loss result if you don't drink 2 bottles of Lucozade. Try 2 litres of water instead;
6. Don't munch power bars either - those are not biceps they are fat rolls and you aren't going to improve matters by eating more calories. Losing weight is more about not putting as much in as it taking more out.

Apart from that you're all doing just fine and the rant is now over.

(Thanks to Assisant K for making me aware of you all...)

Enjoy...