Ding! Ding! Seconds out! Round two....

Right, I can stop squirming now... This is the last of my sexual performance problems .

1. Slow to arouse

2. Slow to orgasm

3. Copious come

4. Slow recovery

When / if I finally get to orgasm, that is it...

Game over.

You can pull at it, you can suck it, you can bounce up and down on it. It will get hard (reluctantly) and stay hard (willingly) but a second serving of "baby custard" will not be forthcoming.

A couple of talented ladies have managed to get me there twice in an hour (it took a lot of work and was strangely unpleasant for all parties involved...) but realistically its best to take a break for dinner / watch the rest of the movie / continue the car journey / apologise to the other occupants of the underground carriage (whatever is appropriate) before trying to repeat.

Again not much of a problem but I am surprised at the number of women who insist on flogging a dead horse, as it were, and really take it as an affront to their womanhood (or worse their attractiveness) that you won't (note, not “can't”) come again.

Given problem no. 2, it isn't going to happen, however much I want it to. My preferred modus operandi with an overnight escort was shag before dinner, shag before bed and shag in the morning - this would give me a chance to recover. Now this isn't age - I can masturbate myself to three orgasms in an evening quite comfortably (well, not counting the soreness...).

Thankfully Mrs. S is usually happy with one monster romp at bedtime but occassionally she wants more (screw on the sofa, quick shower then bonk in bed). I really struggle then...

Thought for the day:

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Enjoy...