Not rising to the occassion...
A couple of posts (Ski Jump II and Sanding the Pool Cue) alluded to sexual performance problems I have. Since this blog is my therapy, I thought that I'd get them out in the open - a problem shared is a problem halved (unless, of course, it is a dose of the clap...).
In fact there are four problems from which I suffer. I will now reveal all. These posts took quite a bit of courage to write, so be gentle with me...
1. Slow to get aroused
I find it very difficult to get aroused with anyone other than a long term partner. With my wife, just the thought of her can get me hard. Kissing her luscious lips will do it. Cuddling her works very well too. Any type of sexual intimacy has me turned on in an instant.
However, when I was seeing escorts, I could be kissing an fondling a Playboy model and the heat-seeking missile would often be malfunctioning - my brave helmeted warrior would be hiding. Why? Guilt and fear are not big turn-ons for me (remember I was doing this for sex - denied to me at home - not to satisfy a kink, so I was thinking about how shitty the whole scenario was). Being professionals, they knew not to worry/comment but merely get on with finding the right buttons to press (for reference, sucking the reluctant hero seems to do a pretty good job of coaxing him out...).
I'm fine once I'm aroused - I am priapic to the last. What happens to the guilt? It is the red mist of lust that overpowers it (not proud of that but it is what it is...).
But I'd be lying if I said it was only guilt. I had the same issue with one night stands before we married. Mr. Todger was not always interested in playing. Fear was the issue. I wanted to be a “great lover”. I wanted her to be screaming my name as she came for the twentieth time. Wicked Wife correctly commented on this here. I want to give pleasure more than I want to receive.
Performance anxiety... Not good.
It sort of put me off dating for a while - would the trouser snake emerge from its lair at the appropriate moment? Women can say the most crass things too - "Does this happen often?", "What's wrong?", "Is it me?". Comments only guaranteed to make sure that playing "hide the sausage" will not be on the agenda for the foreseeable future... Ladies, please ignore it, act like this always happens and it'll get better...
I sort of doubt I'd have the problem now away from escorts (I'm assuming that there is no guilt for a second - I believe that I can deliver the goods) but I guess I won't ever find out.
Thought for the day:
In fact there are four problems from which I suffer. I will now reveal all. These posts took quite a bit of courage to write, so be gentle with me...
1. Slow to get aroused
I find it very difficult to get aroused with anyone other than a long term partner. With my wife, just the thought of her can get me hard. Kissing her luscious lips will do it. Cuddling her works very well too. Any type of sexual intimacy has me turned on in an instant.
However, when I was seeing escorts, I could be kissing an fondling a Playboy model and the heat-seeking missile would often be malfunctioning - my brave helmeted warrior would be hiding. Why? Guilt and fear are not big turn-ons for me (remember I was doing this for sex - denied to me at home - not to satisfy a kink, so I was thinking about how shitty the whole scenario was). Being professionals, they knew not to worry/comment but merely get on with finding the right buttons to press (for reference, sucking the reluctant hero seems to do a pretty good job of coaxing him out...).
I'm fine once I'm aroused - I am priapic to the last. What happens to the guilt? It is the red mist of lust that overpowers it (not proud of that but it is what it is...).
But I'd be lying if I said it was only guilt. I had the same issue with one night stands before we married. Mr. Todger was not always interested in playing. Fear was the issue. I wanted to be a “great lover”. I wanted her to be screaming my name as she came for the twentieth time. Wicked Wife correctly commented on this here. I want to give pleasure more than I want to receive.
Performance anxiety... Not good.
It sort of put me off dating for a while - would the trouser snake emerge from its lair at the appropriate moment? Women can say the most crass things too - "Does this happen often?", "What's wrong?", "Is it me?". Comments only guaranteed to make sure that playing "hide the sausage" will not be on the agenda for the foreseeable future... Ladies, please ignore it, act like this always happens and it'll get better...
I sort of doubt I'd have the problem now away from escorts (I'm assuming that there is no guilt for a second - I believe that I can deliver the goods) but I guess I won't ever find out.
Thought for the day:
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?Enjoy...
posted by Salvatori at 4:38 pm
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