Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Slow train coming...

In my series of confessions, this is the next sexual problem from which I suffer.

1. Slow to arouse

2. Slow to orgasm

I find getting to orgasm difficult. I can be rock hard and very turned on but it can take literally hours to get to orgasm. This was a prime example.

Now there are many men that would love to have such a problem (and many women who'd like their man to have such a fault). However, it is actually rather dull, as women usually wonder what's wrong; they get bored (“Aren't you finished, yet?”). I remember one (professional) lady saying “You can't fuck me for a whole hour, you know”. Ah! Romantic words indeed - ideal to put anyone in the mood...

As with any male sexual problem, worrying about it is only going to make it worse. Thus, well-intentioned but solicitous comments only serve to make it more difficult. As one thing that turns me on hugely is seeing a woman getting pleasure, any commentfrom my partner along the lines of “Am I doing something wrong?” (as opposed to, “Oh God, baby, harder... Fuck, I'm going to come again!”) is a massive turn off.

If I sense the woman is flagging or merely “putting up with it” till I come, then it is game over for me. This happens more frequently than I had imagined. Over time, I became increasingly self-conscious about the effect that I was having on my partner - was she really enjoying it or just "keeping going" so I could come?

I have even considered faking an orgasm a few times. One time a girl I picked up was giving me an over-vigorous hand-job and I was starting to feel rather more pain than pleasure. This, if ever, was a moment for a bit of mock gurning and convulsions. However, it is a bit difficult when she is screaming “Come in my face, baby” (that situation resolved itself with my cock detumescing rapidly and remaining resolutely on strike until the lady in question agreed to cease and desist - I didn't see her again...).

As I make love to my wife au naturel, faking is rather difficult, particularly in view of problem No. 3 (more of which tomorrow)...

Thought for the day:
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Enjoy...

4 Comments:

Blogger God Hates Kittens said...

I had that problem with my last girlfriend. Only half the time I'd ever orgasm because I would get tired plus I probably jerked off right before that to. Now I rarely "touch myself" and if I do I don't finish the job so to speak and I have sex like maybe 3 times or so a week. This helped me out but I think we may be just feeling our age

2:00 pm  
Blogger An Extraordinary woman in a mediocre life said...

that is indeed a problem i wish Mr E suffered from. Unfortunately he is at the complete opposite end of the scale. It often takes me longer to strip than it does for him to come.
And yeah.. the more you worry, the worse it will generally make the situation...
I hope it all sorts itself out.. but not too well ;) if ya get me
xxxx

2:24 pm  
Blogger Kim said...

My bf often has that problem. Like you said, it can be GREAT for me, but wearying for him.

Great entry! Can I use this for Private Booth in the near future?

Best~

12:21 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this has become my problem, too, over this last year. and coincidentally, i've been a sex worker for this past year.
i think i've conditioned myself to last as long as i could, because i like to please everyone. but for some reason, when someone is telling me to shoot, it can take (on average) 20 mins or so from that time that i want to, till when it actually happens.
only thing i have found is that it really can vary due to the person. not how hot he or she is, but how he or she touches me when i'm trying to cum. i guess we all have something, eh?

8:52 am  

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